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Heroes. I always thought that a hero was someone who did something brave and dangerous in the furtherance of a common good. But as I’ve gotten older, I think hero means more than my long held one-sided view. One dictionary definition is that of a man or a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his or her brave deeds and noble qualities. Yes, there’s bravery and courage in this definition but there are also the words—noble qualities. And having noble qualities does not have to be associated with courage or bravery. In fact, noble, in this regard generally means possessing outstanding qualities. So, a hero doesn’t have to leap tall buildings, fly faster than a speeding train or be able to stop a bullet in its tracks and they don’t even have to wear a cape. A hero can be someone who possesses outstanding qualities. But just possess them? Not hardly, a hero has to do something spectacular with those qualities.
How about you? Do you have a personal hero? I mean a hero on a personal level—not a politician or a historical figure but someone who was a hero to you, personally? For me, there is an interesting dynamic as my brother literally saved my life when I was eight years old so he has to be on my hero list—how can someone who saved your life not be, however, I’m going to talk about someone quite different. I’m going to talk about a hero in my life that used their noble qualities to perform a heroic act, for me.
I go back to my senior year in high school to find my hero. I was at a precarious time in my life. I was running with a bad crowd and had a terrible lack of belief in myself, scholastically and actually, in most things of importance. I felt that I was going nowhere, and I was going to be a loser for the rest of my life. I didn’t think much about it, and I felt that I was okay, but I was just that, okay, and that I would be an unhappy and unsuccessful person the rest of my days. I had completely accepted the fact. I figured that if I could con or fool my way through life that I’d survive and get by, but just get by. I was sure that this was my lot in life—survival and maybe a few laughs along the way, but no more.
My senior year in school I was placed into a work program that focused on marketing and sales along with math, English and some school basics. During the morning I’d do some very basic scholastics and after noon, I’d get trained about the working world and I’d have to get a part-time job as well. I was one of those kids that the powers-that-be thought would have to learn a skill quickly, to get through life.
So, the first day that I showed up for this special class I met Mrs. Gronick. She was about 45, kind of tall and she talked slowly and clearly. She seemed to be just like the average teacher in our large Ohio school district. But soon afterwards, I noticed something different about her. I noticed that when she looked at me and when she talked to me, she seemed to accept me and seemed to think of me as just as good as anyone else in the class, even the best students. I didn’t see any restrictive or judgmental label in her eyes when she talked with me. I remember thinking, wait a minute teacher . . . don’t you know that I’m a loser, and that I’m dumb and I’m not going to be able to do anything much with my life. Why aren’t you just telling me what to do and then quickly turning away like everyone else does? But no, she never showed that to me. On the contrary, when she talked and directed me, she did it with the utmost belief that I’d do what was needed and if I failed, no big deal, we’d get up again and do it again until we (me) got what I had coming, which was success. I never saw any doubt in her eyes about me!
During that senior year, I never realized what Mrs. Gronick actually did with me. It would be many years, and actually a decade or two to see what she did in my life. That senior high school year was the first year that I got all A’s and B’s, and I started believing in myself. She started something that a family member built upon later, but she was the first person outside of family who unconditionally taught and believed in me. She somehow knew that I mattered as much as the best boy or girl in school and that I had absolutely no limitations.
Since high school, many things have occurred in my life. Many failures, tears, and tribulations. However, Mrs. Gronick’s foundation of heroic acts have stuck in my heart just as if it was my own DNA.
As the years went by, I did a lot of teaching myself—never wanting to be a teacher mind you, just kind of falling into most of it, but something interesting occurs in my teaching and in retrospect, I wonder if my high school hero has a hand in it. Let me give you an example.
Many years after high school I took over part ownership of a small martial arts school. One of the owners was moving to Chicago and the remaining partner needed a teacher to help him. It was a great opportunity for a young guy, so I jumped at it. Soon after I said yes to the proposition, both partners showed me around and explained some basics about some of the students. Things like this female has been here for two-years, this one for one-year and so forth. But, when they got to this one young man—about 20 years old, they both said that he was hopeless, that he couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time, that he was a lost cause. I remember thinking, how shocking it was for someone to be labeled so off-the-charts negatively, but I didn’t buy their assessment. To make a long story a bit shorter, after about a year of working with him, he became the best student in the class—by far. I believed in him. I knew that he could be just as good as me, or the next guy. I knew that he could be great. And John, became just that. In fact, he became a little arrogant!
I’ve never stopped teaching any different than how I did with that student many years ago, whether teaching college academics to martial arts I have always believed, always known, that human potential is phenomenal. And when someone can tap their human potential with or without the help of a teacher, they can succeed. Throughout the years I’ve received accolades for my teaching including having the highest student retention rates on campus, to being picked as the best teacher on campus and I thank Mrs. Gronick for being a part of those accolades. She lit the light of possibility and success for me, and in turn, I’ve been trying to do the same for my students and seminar listeners. She gave me something that can never be taken away from me and that has left a positive ripple effect touching others.
You too might have been touched by a someone who was actually a hero. Who’s your hero?
Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth, a former police supervisor and a graduate of The Police Executive Leadership College (PELC) and was also an award winning part-time college Criminal Justice instructor.
For several years, Steve did written and radio political and current event commentary and was the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio and TV talk show.
Steve presently owns a small businesses in Ohio--The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense.
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