Confidence, Self-Defense and Your Survival

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Bernadette tried the moves she learned in a self-defense class against the drunken man who tried to rape her in an apartment stairwell. But her punches to his face and fingers to the eyes did absolutely nothing to stop the brute. Thank goodness that a security guard heard her pleas. Bernadette was alright but she recalls that she was shocked that her confident moves did nothing to stop the man.

We’ve always been told that confidence is the key to being good at most anything. While I wholeheartedly agree with this statement there are times when confidence is not enough. In fact, in some cases, confidence as the main criteria, can be darn right dangerous and even deadly. I’m speaking of confidence and self-defense.

When studying self-defense, confidence is but a beginning foundation, nothing much more. In life and death self-protection and self-defense, workable action is the most important criteria.

I’ve had students who’s actions were so filled with a bravado-confidence that they relied mainly on mean looks and strikes that weren’t properly developed, than techniques that had realistic connect-ability and power.  

This can easily happen when self-defense techniques are practiced without full contact and the attacker (helper) isn’t a ruthless thug bent on the student’s destruction.

And that is what self-defense is about. Preparing ourselves against someone hell-bent on controlling us as in the case of rape or hell bent on devastating us in some way.

The best way to learn to protect ourselves is by full contact training. Awareness and mental strategies are a crucial must, however, when the crap hits the fan and it gets down to physicality, the best way to prepare is by full contact training. Similarly, the best way to learn to fight is by fighting. Fact. Anyone who says that this is not true, and I’ve heard trainers say that they disagree, should consider retiring and keeping bees.

There are many ways to teach self-defense to people. Ways with and without full contact involved, but the best way is to incorporate some full contact measures so the student being accosted knows how to really punch, kick and connect against an attacker. This can be challenging as many students who want to learn self-defense do not want to join a gladiator type school which are very popular nowadays. However, trainers can utilize protective equipment or suits on the attackers that absorb complete full contact strikes from the students. In addition, there is great Jiu-jitsu training available that encompasses lots of hands on practice that can work well.

The most important thing for a student to remember is not to rely on rah-rah bravado-scowl based techniques to guide you. Thinking confidently does not work. Knowing and practicing realistically can work. When an enraged attacker is on you, nothing works but explosive and powerful bad ass physicality that comes from realistic practice.

Steve Kovacs
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Steve Kovacs

About Steve Kovacs

Steve's the bestselling author of 'Protect Your Kids! The Simple Keys to Children's Safety and Survival'. He's written many articles on a wide variety of topics and has three published books. Steve's a three-time survivor of violence in his youth, a former police supervisor and a graduate of The Police Executive Leadership College (PELC) and was also an award winning part-time college Criminal Justice instructor. For several years, Steve did written and radio political and current event commentary and was the former host of the long running 'The Kovacs Perspective' Internet radio and TV talk show. Steve presently owns a small businesses in Ohio--The Mayfield Academy of Self-Defense.

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